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***Warning***
Some images and content for mature audiences only!
Please proceed with caution and of your own free will!
You have been warned!
Some of the all time Best Sports Moments! Enjoy!
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The other side of all those hillbilly and redneck stories. You might be from California if......
1. Your co-worker has 8 body piercings and none are visible.
2. You make over $300,000 and still can't afford a house.
3. You take a bus and are shocked at two people carrying on a conversation in English.
4. Your child's 3rd-grade teacher has purple hair, a nose ring, and is named Breeze.
5. You can't remember...is pot illegal?
6. You've been to a baby shower that has two mothers and a sperm donor.
7. You have a very strong opinion about where your coffee beans are grown and can taste the difference between Sumatran and Ethiopian.
8. You know which restaurant serves the freshest arugula.
9. You can't remember.....is pot illegal?
10. A really great parking space can totally move you to tears.
11. A low speed police pursuit will interrupt ANY TV broadcast.
12. Gas costs $1.00 per gallon more than anywhere else in the U.S.
13. A man gets on the bus in full leather regalia and crotchless chaps. You don't even notice.
14. Unlike back home, the guy at 8:30 am at Starbucks wearing the baseball cap and sunglasses who looks like George Clooney IS George Clooney.
15. Your car insurance costs as much as your house payment.
16. Your hairdresser is straight, your plumber is gay, the woman who delivers your mail is into S&M, and your Mary Kay rep is a guy in drag.
17. You can't remember...is pot illegal?
18. It's barely sprinkling rain and there's a report on every news station about "STORM WATCH 2003."
19. You have to leave the big company meeting early because Billy Blanks himself is teaching the 4:00 PM Tae Bo class.
20. You pass an elementary school playground and the children are all busy with their cell phones or pagers.
21. It's barely sprinkling rain outside, so you leave for work an hour early to avoid all the weather-related accidents.
22. Hey!!!! Is Pot Illegal????
23. Both you AND your dog have a therapist.
Why Women Shouldn't Have Online Affiars!!
Be afraid, be very afraid!
Two Hillbillies from Holley walk into the local bar to wash the dust from their throats and grab a beer. They stand at the bar, drinking a beer and talking about current cattle prices.
Suddenly, a woman at a nearby table, who is eating a sandwich, begins to cough. After a minute or so, it becomes apparent that she is in real distress.
One of the hillbillies looks at her and says, "Kin ya swaller?" The woman shakes her head no. Kin ya breathe?" The woman begins to turn blue and shakes her head.
The hillbilly walks over to the woman, lifts up the back of her dress, yanks down her panties, and runs his tongue all over her butt cheeks in a circular motion. The woman is so shocked, that she has a violent spasm and the obstruction flies out of her mouth. As she begins to breathe again, the hillbilly walks slowly back to the bar and takes a drink from his beer.
His partner says, "Ya know, I'd heard of that there hind-lick maneuver, but I ain't never seen nobody do it."
And you think your job sucks...check these out!
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This boy just ain't right.
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Check out more weird stuff here: BEWARE!!!
Rotten.com
This is far out! The biggest woman in the world is from Holland.
She is over 7'4" and 320 pounds. Before you click on the link below,
just try and get a mental picture of what this girl must look like.
Now check it out.
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Horseback Riding
A blonde decides to try horseback riding, even though she has had no lessons
or prior experience. She mounts the horse unassisted, and the horse
immediately springs into motion. It gallops along at a steady and rhythmic
pace, but the blonde begins to slip from the saddle. In terror, she grabs
for the horse's mane but cannot seem to get a firm grip. She tries to throw
her arms around the horse's neck, but she slides down the side of the horse
anyway. The horse continues to gallop along, seemingly ignorant of its
slipping rider. Finally, giving up her frail grip, the blonde attempts to
leap away from the horse and throw herself to safety.
Unfortunately, her foot becomes entangled in the stirrup, and she is now at
the mercy of the horse's pounding hooves as her head is struck against the
ground over and over. As her head is battered against the ground, she is
mere moments away from unconsciousness when, to her great fortune, Fred the
Walmart greeter sees her in trouble and quickly unplugs the horse.
Here's a truly heartwarming story about the bond formed between a little girl and some construction workers that makes you believe that there is still hope for the younger generation...
A young family moved into a house next door to a vacant lot. One day a construction crew turned up to start building a house on the empty lot. The young family's 5-year-old daughter naturally took an interest in all the activity going on next door and spend much of each day observing the workers. Eventually the construction crew, all of them gems-in-the-rough, more or less adopted her as a kind of project mascot. They chatted with her, let her sit with them while they had coffee and lunch breaks, and gave her little jobs to do here and there to make her feel important. At the end of the first week they even presented her with a pay envelope containing a dollar.
The little girl took this home to her mother who said all the appropriate words of admiration and suggested that they take the dollar pay she had received to the bank the next day to start a savings account. When they got to the bank the teller was equally impressed and asked the little girl how she had come by her very own pay check at such a young age.
The little girl proudly replied, "I worked last week with the crew building the house next door to us."
"My goodness gracious," said the teller, "and will you be working on the house again this week, too?"
The little girl replied, "I will if those assholes at Home Depot ever deliver the fucking sheet rock ."
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I have as much authority as the Pope, I just don't have as many people who believe it.
George Carlin
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I recently went to a new doctor and noticed he was located in something called the Professional Building. I felt better right away.
George Carlin
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